but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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