i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
