So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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