I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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