her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
