Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
