hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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