he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
