are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
