you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
