she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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