actually, I'm a sock model
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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