Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
