Someone shit on the floor
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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