After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
