I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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