her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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