Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
