just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
