??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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