The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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