Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
