Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
