Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When are your genitals available?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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