My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
