Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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