So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
