I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
