what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
