Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
