You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
