you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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