Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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