but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
