dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
