i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's just like the Real World with babies
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
