u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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