Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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