sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
