Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize