I have demons in me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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