Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
