we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
