I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
