if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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