She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
