So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize