I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
