so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
