Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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