Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Someone shattered a urinal.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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