Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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