Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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