9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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