R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
