All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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