Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
