Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
