i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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