Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
