trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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